I grew up in one of those Judeo-Christian homes that apparently strike terror in the hearts of the likes of Betty Friedan, Alan Grayson and Kathryn Joyce. My parents never had sex until they got married to each other. Theirs is an enduring...

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Saturday, November 13, 2010

Now I'm Worried

I thought the old carol went like this:
He is born the divine Christ child.
Beat the drums and sound the trumpets.

But one luxurious evening around the shiny Yamaha grand with my family's robust, tuneful, parts-singing and I cannot think of it that way anymore. Now it must be
He is born the divine Christ child.
Play the oboe and bagpipes merrily.

and it will not sing any other way.

That bugs me. Now I have some plaguing questions. Which version was first? Who changed it? Why? Did the Roman Catholic Church (I presume they had something to do with popularizing Christmas) have something against oboes and bagpipes? What instruments were popular when the carol was written? What are the histories of oboes and bagpipes? What percentage of our neighborhood (should we do a neighborhood carol sing) will be offended if we crack jokes about the bagpipes? And what's with America's obsession with men wearing kilts?

All this came of two extra syllables.

Note: I did mean to put this up end of September or very early October, :( at which time I would cop out of my obligation to post election information by recommending a vote for any candidate wearing a kilt. I did text this advice to my bro, who begged out of a vote for Gavin Newsom and judged me decisively to have gone off my rocker. This has been the beginning of a healthy relationship with my brother, based on new-found mutual respect.


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